Virtually all of us exist in a state of chronic, low-grade suffering or, as Thoreau put it, we while away our days in “quiet desperation.” It is the first and perhaps most important of the Buddha’s four noble truths, this idea of life as suffering.
Yet most who read these words will say something to the effect of, “Mmm, not me. My life is going just fine, thank you very much.” They will point to a healthy bank account, vacation plans, a growing family, even the delicious dinner from the night before as evidence that suffering may exist from time to time, but it is an aberration akin to the occasional thunderstorm.
Suffering, in fact, is your true Self’s whispered urgings to awaken. As Joel Goldsmith would remind his students, your spirit will only wait so long before it clobbers you with a 2 x 4. You may think your life is about amassing material wealth, raising kids, saving the whales, but your spirit knows different and if it can’t get your attention the subtle way, it will use more dramatic measures.
In other words, go ahead and ignore the nagging misgivings within, tamp down the anxieties and fears, pretend that the “security” of a career or marriage is enough. At some point that subtle form of suffering will be replaced by its more acute cousin, the one that brings you to your knees when your mate at last walks out on you, when a lump is discovered in the breast, when the market crashes and takes your money with it.
And therein lies the irony. Suffering doesn’t make life difficult, our collective denial of it does. Your ego has constructed an elaborate picture of “your life” and that delusion is predicated on you playing along; on you ignoring those same whispered urgings of your spirit. The problem is, you’ve bought into this picture and haven’t noticed that the very things that bring you happiness also bring you unhappiness.
We “fall in love” with a mate and then he breaks our heart and we “hate” him; we are “blessed with children” and then we worry ourselves sick about them; we land a terrific new job and in short order we’re praying for the weekend. We are rats on a wheel, the cheese always just beyond our reach. If we’d just step off the wheel for a moment we might notice that the whole game is rigged; that we’re never going to get the cheese on that damned wheel.
Which is why true suffering is such a gift. For a brief time we are in fact knocked from the wheel and the ego’s version of the world is brought into stark focus. If my beloved husband can cheat on me; if this cancer might kill me; if everything I ever worked for can disappear overnight, maybe I need to take a harder look at myself, at this thing called life.
As George Eliot so elegantly put it: “Deep unspeakable suffering may well be called a baptism, a regeneration, the initiation into a new state.” The question is whether you put suffering to work in the quest for the real you, or ignore it – and its lessons – to perpetuate the ego’s illusion of you?
Someone said, “Ignorance is what causes people to suffer because of wrong thinking. Awareness enables people to think correctly and therefore eliminate suffering.”
There are those who have suffered and survive, and moved forward to experience a different and more spiritual life. However, there are those that are left scarred emotionally, and find ways to put their suffering in a private space, limiting those who would want to help. As with so many people I too have had experiences with suffering – grief over the loss of someone special, and other unbearable difficulties, but I found ways to share these emotional difficulties by re-inventing my faith in God. Developing this faith was not easy, but it is indeed possible for the person who has hope, and even more possible for the person who is willing to open their heart. Still more is possible for the person who knows how to love. AND lastly, everything is possible for the person who practices all three virtues. My faith has allowed me to be always ready to face life – both its pleasures and its troubles. The difficulties of life do not have to be unbearable. It is the way we look at them – through faith or unbelief.
You quote, George Eliot – “Deep unspeakable suffering may well be called a baptism, a regeneration, the initiation into a new state.” I would have removed “Deep unspeakable” from the quote. “Deep unspeakable” is really subjective, isn’t it? Otherwise, your “Suffering Treatise” is as beautifully penned as all of the other awakening, systematic narratives. Well done, again…
The glorification of suffering and worship of it is a gigantic cultural error. loss has more to do with people not valuing life and instead looking at it as a trial. Believing in suffering is what causes it. Believing that one must do what voters approve of instead of what one desires, believing in anything at all, this is suffering. God concepts are not remotely elegant. They are foolishness. “Cheese” is a real food, am excellent food, made for enjoyment. As is life. People who cannot embrace this and instead live lives of pretense are doomed to suffer in quiet envy because they have not yet accepted the truth. Which is that no one has a right to tell you to accept anything at all that you do not like. If you lose someone you love it is up to you to find someone new. If you lose your occupation, up to you to find a new one, lose your wealth, up to you to create more wealth. People who do this are the ones that know that happiness has nothing at all to do with unhappiness. That it is an emotion. being free has to do with being true to who you are. that is not about god but about being unafraid of the devil. They should teach that somewhere.
You write that “no one has a right to tell you to accept anything,” and then spend the remainder of your comment telling people your version of the truth. A bit of a contradiction, yes?
And the emotions of happiness have no relation to the emotions of unhappiness? Really? If you are being mauled by a bear and your body is surging with fear-based chemicals, and along comes a ranger to chase away the bear and your body is now flooded with joy-inducing chemicals/emotions, there is no duality there, no connection?
Lastly, you write of ‘being free’ having to do with being true to who you are. If a man suffers and is ‘true’ to that suffering, is he not being true to who he is at that moment?
I would suggest you look at these statements again.
If god had a plan he would have at least had the courtesy to send you an email.
Virtue is knowing the limits of your viewpoint and being willing to accept that the mere existence of pleasure is proof that life is beautiful. People who are afraid of their own desire are the ones who are further from the truth, which is that there is no evil in suffering. So if you enjoy suffering, suffer. if you don’t, don’t, it’s up to you.
Virtue, like all human traits, is in the eye of the beholder. YOUR definition of virtue may not be the same as that of another. The deeper question is who it is that claims such knowledge. Or, to your point, who it is that supposedly enjoys pleasure or suffering.
I think the one thing tht people who “suffer” like about it is that it makes them feel closer to god . Which is Some crazy ass ;$:@ if you ask me..
Also they always seem to look at people who are gratifying their egos as being monstrous slime balls. Which I think is sick. It’s not at all elegant or profound ,
I think there’s some truth to this. Many of us wrap ourselves up in our suffering (just as do others with their money, patriotism, religion, whatever) and identify with it. We become martyrs, eager to flaunt our suffering in front of others and, as you say, claim a closer connection to god.