The Art of Genuine Compassion

July 12, 2009

Picture an individual who, for one reason or another, annoys you. I don’t care how “Zen” you are, there is someone in your life who fits this bill (a boss, a spouse, a child, the neighbor, the driver who cut you off in traffic this morning). Really picture this person, what it is that annoys you about him/her.

Now imagine that you are going to walk in his shoes, and by that I don’t mean suddenly switch places with him midway through life, but all the way back to the beginning. You are now going to become the product of his father and mother’s sexual union. You are born into his family, you have his biological engineering (tall, short, fat, black, white, gay, straight, etc.). You live in his childhood home, are raised by his mother and father, and in every way possible you experience everything he did.

Now take this one step further and ask yourself, “In what way(s) would I be different from him?” The answer, of course, is that you wouldn’t be different at all. You’d be doing exactly the same things he is doing because you were conditioned to think and see the world precisely the way he did. Consider this the next time you feel compelled to judge another by his or her actions.

But there’s still more – and this is the biggie. When you thought about changing places with this person, what part of “you” was being transitioned over? Your body? Nope. Your brain/mind/thoughts? No, not that either – after all, they’re “his” thoughts now, not yours. So when you strip away all that biological and mental conditioning, what part of “you” is left? Is there really a “you” at all?

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  • Kevin. November 29, 2012 at 5:49 am

    Hmmm, you are always born you regardless of external factors. You would then be doing things biased your way in that situation but with a different persona. So what is the part which is you ? Perhaps, we have a spirit that silently influences us. Perhaps that spirit is the Jesus Christ or Buddha or any doctrinal figurehead and our soul/mind are sub-personalities akin to disciples of that figurehead. Perhaps for some reason that spirit becomes highly manipulative to ‘free’ itself, perhaps we are that spirit.

  • Doug November 29, 2012 at 9:29 am

    I think the point is that there is no ‘you,’ that we’re waves on the ocean, our composition dictated by every other element. The idea of ‘me’ is, as the mystics say, a case of mistaken identity (but that mistaken identity is also part of the equation – it all just IS).